So, you’ve just met a new woman, been on a few dates with her, and you’re excited. There’s just something about this one that feels right to you. You begin to wonder if maybe she’s the one you’ve been waiting for all this time. This is a decision you have to make carefully. You don’t want to jump the gun, but you don’t want to miss out, either.
Far and away, however, the worse decision is to hold back. If you’re too nervous to make your move and end up delaying too long in giving her a gift, you may lose the opportunity all together. Women can tell when you’re not giving them your all, and the smart ones will skedaddle. They just tend to interpret this in an emotional way, as if you’re ‘unavailable’.
Put forth some effort to get to know her. Open up your ears and pay attention to her when she talks. She will naturally reveal the things she’s interested in, and this is greatly useful information to have. If she’s talking about a crystal necklace, pay attention. If she’s talking about 19th century Russian literature, pay attention.
The reason you want to pay attention is so you can prepare for the all important first gift. This is a major milestone that can really let this woman know you care about her and want to move forward. While season tickets to the Sox or a tote bag could make one woman go wild, the other may balk with disinterest. Likewise, a first edition ‘Brothers Karamazov’ may rock her world.
This is a major problem actually. Too many men are content on just giving the basic gifts. Whether it’s boxes of chocolates, a jewelry set, or flowers, the day for such gifts is long over. While they do show a bit of thoughtfulness, they don’t show that you’ve really paid attention to this woman and learned what she truly likes and values.
Timing is important too. If you have the ultimate gift, but give it too early, you’ve blown it. If you give a $500 edition of Hemingway to a woman on a second date, it’s just like giving her a ring; too soon! Likewise, however, you don’t want to wait too long or the woman will think you’re uninterested, and she’ll soon grow to feel that way herself.
Ultimately, what it all comes down to is the recognition that women are people with unique interests and values. Pay attention to them, learn what these are, and then be kind in ways that will be personally meaningful to her. She will feel loved, and you may have just succeeded in snagging ‘the one’.